After a decent sleep accompanied by a mediocre round of cramping, I woke up and didn't feel nauseated. I also noticed that coffee sounded good. Or at least tolerable. But I wasn't brave enough or energized enough to try it today. Another day.
(Since about 5 weeks, I have felt nauseated all day long with very little relief. I have also been disgusted by the thought of coffee. And normally, I'm a coffee connoisseur. I also have turned my nose up to chocolate, but I'm embarrassed to admit that out loud. I kid.)
All I have to go by are the experiences of others that I've read about online. So far, though, I haven't had any severe cramping (think labor pains) or gushes of blood (TMI). In fact, it's been so uneventful I have no idea what to expect. Or what to think.
I have felt so bad while pregnant that I haven't wanted to do anything. I haven't dressed up, put on makeup, or really gone anywhere. No pics of the tummy. And there was a tiny bump. Goodness, this would have been baby #4. It was already out there. I have wanted to eat. Eating made the nausea subside for a short time. Even now my appetite has changed again. This homemade ice cream sandwich sounded good the other night.
So we continue to wait. For what? I don't know. And the unknown has me quite anxious. Since it could be awful or not so awful. And when it's all over and my body is empty, there's the sadness and the grieving.
The realization that the baby won't be coming in May.
No comments:
Post a Comment