Why I run...

Thursday was another great run day. A treat for me. I woke up early. Early early. And ran with my awesome running buddy.

We did basically the same loop we did the other day. My time splits were worse. But it sure felt good to run just the same.

And today I ran solo...always harder, or so it seems.

I'm not winning any races for speed, but I never set out running to break any speed records. I run because it gives me time to think, to breathe, to feel, to pray. I run because it hurts in a really good way - the kind of hurt from working hard and being sore and knowing that I've accomplished something.

I run because it feels so good when I'm done. I don't necessary love running...not exactly. But I love how I feel when I'm done. And for me, that's enough to keep me coming back most days. It's enough to make me miss it on a day when I do boot camp or the elliptical or other cross training.

I run because I feel like it makes my recovery just one more step secure. Some in the recovery world  might think this counterintuitive or opposite of true recovery. But when I run, I know that I cannot mistreat my body and feel good when I run. I cannot get sick or starve myself and still run to the best of my ability.

I can't be strong and act out my eating disorder behavior at the same time, and more than anything I want to be strong.

I want to be strong for my children. So they see how strong I am - not because I did it - but because of who God is inside of me, and the strength He's given me.