Words

Allow me a moment (or several) to share with you about words. I think everyone in America has heard the phrase:

"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me."

I'm fairly certain this has been said in our house more than once. This is a phrase that I don't use. I actually turn it into this instead:

"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will break my heart."

Maybe you're thinking, "geez...that's an awful little phrase to use."

You'd be right. It's awful. And that's the point. Our words can be life-giving or they can spew poison. 

Our words can be a healing salve, or like pouring alcohol on an open-wound. The Bible is pretty clear about the power of our words. 

Proverbs 18:21 tells us, "The tongue has the power of life and death; those who love it will eat its fruit."

In fact, in Genesis where we find the creation account, God's spoken word is what created everything. God spoke the earth into creation. On every single day of creation, we see that God spoke and it was. Go look at Genesis 1 and see where it says on nine separate occasions, "God said..."

Folks, that tells me that our words are powerful. 

I've recently been convicted about the words we use with our children. All of our children - not just mine. I've been so convicted that in some cases I think our words can be more damaging than our actions. Some cases, not all.

How about this one: "Don't be so sensitive. Be tough."

Let me suggest that there is a flaw in this logic - that one cannot be both sensitive and tough. Instead, what if we looked at being sensitive and being tough as separate, but also tied together. 

In order to be tough, which really means strong and resilient and capable of love and deep feeling, one must also be sensitive. To be sensitive one must be allowed to feel and recognize feeling in others. And that, my friends, is true strength. 

I have always had a very sensitive heart. I have always felt deeply for those who are hurting...even if they brought it upon themselves. It took me a long time to be able to articulate it, but I realized that for people to hurt other people, they must be hurting a lot on the inside themselves. 

How does it go? Hurt people, hurt people.

Isn't that true for all of us?

So, when we tell our kids to be tough, don't be sensitive we are really telling them to disregard other people's feelings as well as our own. Don't feel. Just act. Don't feel. Just pretend. 

It's like telling kids not to be scared, when feeling scared is normal and okay. And sometimes feeling scared is good because it tells us that danger is near.

Please allow me to shout this from the rooftops: BE SENSITIVE! AND still be tough. Be tough because you are sensitive. Be tough because you are kind. Be tough because you recognize, you know and you understand your feelings. And please, please be sensitive.

Sensitive means strong and wise and kind and considerate. So, please, be sensitive.