God thinks you're amazing...

As I type this, it's the end of a long day for me and an even longer week. We have tried to return to a normal schedule of homeschooling after the holidays and after the sickness. 

Love you Grandpa Great!

And then we lost someone this week. My husband's grandfather passed away. We were all close to him because he and his beautiful bride had moved here almost a year ago from Washington State, and we took advantage of them living so close by visiting as much as possible. He had lived a long, good life. So I suppose in some ways you could say it was expected. And at the same time, I don't think anyone is ever prepared to lose anyone they love or care for. Ever. 

Grandpa Great was able to celebrate Wonder Woman's baptism this summer with us. 

I'm tired. I'm tired from the emotional exhaustion of taking care of sick children and a sick husband. I'm tired from the normal, everyday duties of being wife, mom and teacher. I'm tired from the tricks of the enemy to destroy me and those whom I love.

And I thought about my kids...how I think they are all amazing. In many ways, each of them amazes me. And then I thought about this:

if I'm God's child...just as my children, are my children...then...

God thinks I'm amazing too. In my own way. The way He created me to be amazing. You see, God created me and He created you. And He thinks the same thing about you...that you're amazing. 

"I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Your works are wonderful; I know that full well." Psalm 139:14

It's one of the biggest lies of the enemy - and I'm ashamed to say that I fall for it daily. 

That I'm not enough. I'm not a good enough mom. I'm not a good enough wife. I'm not fun enough. I'm not strict enough. I'm not happy enough. I'm not Godly enough. And I'm certainly not great or amazing at anything. I'm mediocre at best. My parenting is mediocre. My teaching is mediocre. My                      housekeeping (haha) is less than mediocre. My cooking...it doesn't even register on the scale. (But I can bake you the best cookie-dough brownie with icing you ever tasted. Promise.)                                         

I promise you, before my feet even hit the floor, the enemy of my soul (and yours) is whispering in my ear all the things I am not. And he's shouting even louder all of the things this world has convinced me I should be. 

The lack of peace in my heart from the moment I wake up disturbs me. My goodness, I just woke up. I should at least be in a state of quiet delirium from a lovely sleep. And yet, the enemy, he is cunning and relentless. The Bible says he is "prowling about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour..." 

I Peter 5:8

And Thursday, the day we found out we lost Grandpa Great, I woke with anxiety so fierce I could almost touch it. The weight of this world so great, and the issues we face so big, there are many days I simply want to stay in bed. I feel defeated before I even move beneath the covers.

So on this particularly dreadful (full of dread) morning, I knew I needed my focus to be on Him. The one who calms my fears. The one who created me. The one who calls me precious. The one who knew me before I was even formed. It was as if He was quietly calling me to come to Him.

And He comforted me with this verse...that I can cast all my anxiety (all my cares, concerns, issues, problems, fears, desires) on Him because He cares for you (me).