Hormonal overload

I sent my husband the message below as a text today...he said "you've got to blog that!"

So, you can thank him for the following PSA. I warn you...this might be very graphic and offensive to some people.

Having my period is like this inside my brain...in case you wanted to know...
Conversation with myself all day long. Rapid-fire. 

Awake. I'm so tired. I can hardly move. Run. That will make me feel better. No, it won't. Yes, it will. Okay, I'll go.

DONE.

I'm awake now. Ah, see that feels better. Coffee. I need coffee. Coffee sounds really good.

Ohhhhhh....dried figs. Dried figs, yes. Coffee creamer. Creamer and figs. Creamer and figs and coffee. I need a shower. Sleep. I must sleep.

And sleep, I do.

Eggs. Eggs and tortillas. I shouldn't eat tortillas. They're fresh and homemade. I should eat them. Yes, yum, I will eat them.

I need new shoes. And a new purse. I'm starving. My pants are too tight.

Chocolate. Must have chocolate.

Source

Whew, I'm tired. Man it's hot. Hot and tired. Hot, tired and exhausted. Chocolate would be good. Yes, I will have chocolate.

There is no chocolate. For the love of all good things, why is there no chocolate in the house this week? Why? Doesn't anyone love me?

Oh, yes, I do the grocery shopping. I could have bought more chocolate. Grocery list. Chocolate. Chocolate. Chocolate covered everything and some chocolate chips just in case.

Source

If I could just sleep. I'm so tired. Coffee sounds good. Cheese. Oh, yes, I will have cheese.

Wait.  (Notice on my watch that it's 4:30 p.m. and begin hearing Jimmy Buffett in my head)...It's (almost) 5 o'clock somewhere...wine. Wine and chocolate. Forget coffee and sleep. And cheese. Wine and chocolate it is. Oh right...no chocolate. Wine it is!

S'mores without chocolate are pointless. Cake without icing is pointless.

Source

I have so much I have to get done. What am I cooking for dinner? Can we just have chocolate? Chocolate is dairy and fat. That's 2 out of 5 food groups.

Wash. Rinse. Repeat.