And then I thought, "Why not?"
It was a comment on the shared post that stopped me cold...something along the lines of "he should be castrated..."
At first I was angry. I was upset. I was completely shocked by the comment. I don't know why though. There shouldn't be much that shocks me anymore considering the state of the world in which we live.
I guess I just don't get it. Why does it matter to anyone - anyone at all, really - whether or not the Duggars choose to have any additional children? Why does it matter?
Someone else commented, wondering how they make their money to support all those kids. Who cares?
Truthfully, I haven't done a lot of research on this subject. I don't know for certain that the Duggars' don't receive some form of government assistance; however, I highly doubt that they do. I do know they own several businesses, and I do know they live fairly frugally in the middle of Arkansas. It's not Beverly Hills, folks. Land is fairly cheap there. And though their house is well-equipped for a large family, it's not flashy or extravagant. My guess is that they make a decent living with their businesses and are able to provide nicely for their family - with little or no help from anyone else.
I got pretty wound up about this whole mess, and I sat at home with Amazing Husband that night trying to figure out what got me so upset.
Here's what I came to:
1. Social media is a great tool to keep us connected with friends and loved ones. It provides a great opportunity to share our faith and our beliefs. Social media quickly turns into a place where people are able to hide behind the comfort of their home and their phone/computer and feel this abnormal sense of freedom to share their ugliness.
Notice I didn't say their opinion. Opinions are common. Everyone has them. Like I tell my kids, it's fine to share them with respect, tact and concern for other people's feelings.
"Why should I care what anyone else thinks about my opinion?" Oh dear, you're missing the point. It's not that what anyone else thinks matters. It's that you're a human being, and if you want to be spoken to and treated with respect, then you have to offer some to others as well. It's a two-way street.
2. Some things are none of my business, your business or anyone else's business EXCEPT for the people directly involved. In this case, that would be the Duggar family only. If you have ever watched this show, whether you like the show or not, you cannot argue the fact that these people seem like the real deal. Their beliefs may differ from yours and mine. Their morals and values may not be the same as yours or mine, but they are consistent. Just watch an episode if you don't believe me. Watch them. The fruit of their lives - and MOST IMPORTANTLY - the fruit of their children's lives reflects nothing but authenticity to me.
If you had two parents who put on their Sunday best and sat and spoke softly to the camera, but their kids acted like animals, you'd see the disconnect and think "these people are a joke."
That's not the case though. And their lives reflect the condition of their hearts.
3. Freedom. We have several basic freedoms in this country. Two big ones that come to mind are the freedom of speech and freedom of religion.
Because of the freedom of speech, people are free to post any disrespectful or tactless thing they feel like. And I am not arguing that freedom one bit. I'm simply appealing to the human sense of respect and decorum. Is this how we treat people who choose a different path than we do? We say ugly things simply because they live differently. Really?
Their deeply rooted, Christian faith had led them to make many lifestyle choices - one of which is having a big family. Why? Because according to the Bible, "children are a gift from God." Psalm 127:3. For them, that has meant 19 living children and 1 in heaven. It could have been a different number, but they left that up to God to determine.
So, because they have the freedom to practice their religion, they're allowed to have as many children as they can handle, afford, love and provide for.
4. Choose wisely. While it is your right and your freedom, you don't have to have an opinion on everything, nor do you have to share that opinion. I tell my kids this all the time. And I follow it up with this: always be educated. Always know what's going on in the world around you. Always be well-read and be able to discuss any issues of significance; however, do not be ignorant and start spewing out your opinion based on emotion or what your friend said. Then you just look dumb, because you probably can't back up what you're saying with actual facts and information. "My friend told me..." is not a valid argument.
And then I follow that up with this: some topics are not worth discussing. Some people and arguments are not worth engaging. There are other things much more significant with which to fill up your mind, time and energy.
Choose wisely.
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