P365:197-198 - plus a dose of perspective

Sometimes you just need cookie dough. And a good dose of perspective.

It was Tuesday afternoon. Amazing husband was taking Superman to gymnastics (and amazing husband was sick at the time - AMAZING, I tell you).

I was weepy and overwhelmed. And for some strange reason I had my mind set on sweeping, vacuuming and mopping. My mind told me that busy-ness would ease my anxiety sort of the way that running does. My spirits would be lifted if I crossed these to-dos off my list.

Wonder Woman came to me as Superman walked out the door and excitedly said, "Mom! I know...let's make cookie dough!"

And I am ashamed to admit my response.

"Wonder Woman, right now, I have to vacuum, sweep and mop the floors. If there is time for cookie dough after, then we will make cookie dough. For now, I have these things that I have to do."

And that's when I saw it. The look on her face. Her expression fell. I had rejected her. I had rejected her request for quality time with just her.

And I am even more ashamed to admit that in my selfishness, I didn't make cookie dough with her. I rationalized away in my head as I swept and mopped that these things needed to be done. The floor was filthy. What kind of mother would I be to let the house be dirty?

I know it wounded her little heart. I could see it in her eyes.

So I went to her after bedtime while she was reading in her room, and I asked her to forgive me. I apologized for putting chores above spending time with her. I apologized for making her feel less important than my to do list. Wonder Woman is the most gracious girl. She immediately said, "I forgive you, Mom."

And then we made plans to stop the next day in the middle of homeschool and just make cookie dough.

And then we ate it.

(And she kindly let the boys help, too!)

I hate that it took me hurting her little heart to see my selfishness. The dirty floors will be here any day. She won't be. She will grow up and go off to college and do amazing things. And then, my floors can be clean...when the house is empty and I really have nothing else to do.

This time with all three of them...I wouldn't trade it for the world. They are so precious to me. They teach me more every day than I could ever teach them.