Training recap: week after

It feels weird not to post about my training so I decided to anyway. And just for fair warning, this post may go lots of different directions. You're welcome.

I did relax a bit this week and focus on strength with a little running thrown in. Monday through Thursday I ran about 2 miles each day. Friday I woke early and ran 10 miles.  I planned to do 9, but why do 9 when you can do 10? Or something like that. 

I need another goal. I need another plan to follow. I am good at following plans. It's comforting to have it all laid out nicely...with instructions that are easy to comprehend and obey. Day 1: run 4 miles.  Done. Easy. 

I realized this week why I ran the race. I realized why I picked this particular race. It was more than being a BU alum. It was more than the good memories I have of Waco. It was this:

Running took my mind off of my circumstances and the pain and the anger and the process, and it forced me to focus on something else. 

And this particular race took up almost the entire time I would have been pregnant. Almost. 

This race was also very demanding physically. Aside from the 13.1 miles, there were those Cameron Park hills...oh, the hills. There were at least 10 of them. Some small, some big. For some reason, I was kind of looking forward to the pain of the hills. 

This is a pattern in my own life, and perhaps yours. Something painful hurts me. And I actually seek out something that hurts greater (physically) to take the focus off of the original pain. I suppose you might call that a coping mechanism. 

Today, I learned a few things about myself:

1. While I trust God's plan, I selfishly want to see it all laid out so I can mark checks in all the boxes of the things I get done. 

In Jeremiah 29:11 we are reminded "for I know the plans I have for you. Plans to prosper you. Not to harm you. To give you hope and a future."

He doesn't promise to reveal it all to us at once. He just says He knows. And it's good. 

Ephesians 2:10 says "For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which He prepared beforehand..."

So we know He does have a plan and purpose for our lives. And we know we were created to do good works. 

2. Avoiding the original pain with a different type of pain isn't always helpful in walking through and processing the original pain. And most of the time, it requires processing. Either do it now or do it later. One way or the other, it's gotta be done. 

James 1:2 reminds us to "Consider it pure joy, when you face trials of many kinds..."

In other words, thank God. In the good. In the bad. In the unspeakable pain. In the unbridled joy. In the things you wanted and received. In the things you wanted and did not receive. In gains. In losses. 

3. I spend a lot of time thinking about how I think. 

"Whatever is true, right, pure, lovely, if anything be excellent or praiseworthy, think on these things." Phil. 4:8

Maybe I need to think about those things more...things that are true and right and good and pure. 

Maybe so.