Quarantine

Today our home is full of unwell people. It started with my husband a week ago today...with what we thought was a sinus infection. By Thursday, Lego Man who is usually the healthiest member of the family, was complaining of a sore throat. Friday, husband and son woke up feeling pretty rotten and went to the CVS Minute Clinic to find out they were both super sick. Lego Man has flu. Full-on flu. Husband has bronchitis with early onset pneumonia.

Wonder Woman was with my parents on an overnight trip, and as a result has so far missed all the aches, pains and fever that goes with flu.

And until Sunday morning, I thought Super-Spider-PowerRanger Man would miss it as well. But today he woke up with fever and cough. And that's how it began for Lego Man. So, I'm afraid we have another man down.

I had gotten a flu shot when I was pregnant, so hopefully I will miss this as well. And if I don't, well hopefully I will feel as good as Super-Spider-PowerRanger Man seems to feel. He hasn't missed a beat so far and continues to ninja kick through the house as if nothing is wrong.

Since I've been staying out of the sick room, I've had a lot of time to think about this sickness. It is hard to be a caregiver. Even though these sick people are the most precious people in the world to me, it is hard. And the days are long. As I type this, the minutes are inching by so slowly, and the work is piling up, and I'm afraid I'm feeling just a bit tired.

I've been trying to remain fairly neutral...in other words, no hugs, no kisses, no physical contact with the sick ones. Why? So that perhaps I can avoid the sickness, but more than that, I can keep from spreading it to Wonder Woman or my parents.

One thing I remember about my mom when she would take care of me when I was little and sick, she was always loving, gentle, kind and not afraid that she would get sick too. She would love on me, kiss my forehead, hug me. And I feel somehow guilty that I'm not doing that to my own kids because I'm afraid of spreading the germs around.

It's made me hungry for their affection. And it's made me appreciate their presence in my life. Even with the extra laundry and hand-washing, I'm so blessed by them. They are a precious gift to me. Seeing them hurt and sick, it is a difficult thing.

I have noticed also, that I walk around the house with a frown on my face. Not because I don't like being the caregiver. Truthfully, I do. I love being needed, and I love taking care of people. If my grandmother were alive, you could ask her. I moved in with her to take care of her the summer my grandfather died. I love to take care of people. Especially people whom I love so much.

No, I'm not quite sure why I walk around frowning all the time. But I've noticed it. And I'm working on it. Trying to smile whenever I think about it. Because I want my sweet kiddos to know that I love taking care of them. They are not a chore, a job; no, they are precious, wonderful, life-giving and amazing. And even when it's hard and the days are long, I love taking care of them.

I suppose, what I've been feeling is a bit of conviction. Jesus walked everywhere that He ministered, and when people came up to ask Him for help or healing, He always answered them. I don't know if He had a smile on His face, but His words reveal that He loved ministering to them and giving them care. He loved healing them. When I imagine the face of Jesus, I imagine Him smiling at me.

If I'm supposed to paint our children a picture of Christ-like service or caregiving, what do they see if I'm always frowning? What do they think about serving others if my response to them is short or gruff or if my smile is forced?

I believe my focus for the year 2014 is to LOVE*. And yet today, I think I will show love if I smile at them.

*more on this focus is coming soon.