The rows were all full...

We like to sit on the ends of the rows at church...are we weird or do most people prefer that?

Wonder Woman only 6 months old.

Tonight at church, the ends of the rows were all full as I quickly approached the middle of the sanctuary. I was secretly wishing we had spent less time drinking hot chocolate in the lobby and focused on getting to our seats, but the kids enjoyed the cocoa, and I enjoy them.

Then miraculously, as if the heavens opened and a light shone down, the end of one row was open. For us. Can't you hear the choirs of angels singing?

Oh, you can't? Maybe it wasn't that dramatic. But there is often a lot of anxiety surrounding church for me, so in my mind it was just like that.

I ushered the kids into their seats, I took my seat, and husband sat down in the end seat.

Superman sleeping only 13 months old.

A little girl came to the stage reciting scriptures from Luke 2. I was thoroughly paying attention to her. As she finished we stood to sing a Christmas carol, and then, in that  moment as we stood, I saw her right in front of me.

A precious little girl, maybe 4 months old. She wore candy cane, striped tights, ballets flats, and a white onesie with Santa on the front and bell sleeves.

I can't say I wouldn't have sat there if I noticed her first, but I certainly would have braced myself a little more for impact.

And as we stood and sang "Silent Night" my eyes filled with tears, the lump in my throat returned, and my face wanted to maneuver into the ugly cry for a moment.

For whatever reason, I stopped. The tears filled my eyes, but didn't fall. I watched her a lot during the service. I noticed her smile and the way her little brother played with her. It's funny what you notice when you've lost something...someone...

Perhaps I didn't cry because I was enjoying the moment God gave me. I was sitting with my family - all of them - at the Christmas Eve service for our church. It was the perfect Christmas present for me. To have us all together at church, singing Christmas carols, laughing, learning, worshipping.

Lego Man only 4 months old.