Letters to His children: the only person you can control is you

Behavior is a choice.  The only person you can control is you. 

Hey you - Wonder Woman, Homerun Kid and Super/SpiderMan...I'm talking to you...

Would you think that just today I was having a "teachable moment" with these cherubs?

This is a difficult lesson to teach you but at some point, you will realize it anyway. I spent many years of my life thinking that if I acted a certain way or did certain things then people would do what I wanted them to do. Sometimes it worked. Most of the time, it didn’t.

I don’t know why I thought I could control another person…another person with their own free will, thoughts, ideas and abilities. But I did. Maybe it’s because when we are babies, if we cry someone comforts us or feeds us or changes us and/or basically takes care of our immediate need. So I suppose that causes us to think we can control other people with our behavior. The problem is that it doesn’t last forever. As we grow, our parents begin to teach us to do things on our own.

And our cries no longer get answered at lightning speed.

What I want you to understand, my dear one, is that the only person you can control is you. When someone is mean to you, nothing you do can MAKE them behave differently. When someone is kind to you, nothing you do can make them change that. They operate out of their own free will.

And that is where the importance of a relationship with Jesus comes in. That’s why it’s important to understand your purpose on this earth. When you understand your purpose, it becomes easier to understand how you are supposed to behave regardless of what other people choose to do.

How you treat other people, that is up to you.

How other people treat you, that is up to them.

You will answer to God for your behavior, just as everyone else will have to answer for theirs. That’s the importance of the message of the gospel  “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” John 13:34-35.

The way that people recognize that we follow Christ is through the way we treat one another and show love. If we don’t show love, then that is all other people see. That’s why it’s so important to show love. It doesn’t matter what someone has done to us. It doesn’t matter what they’ve said or done, it matters only how you respond. So remember that as you grow up. You can’t make someone love you. You can’t make someone be nice to you. You can’t make someone do your chores or, well, basically anything. At the end of the day, only they choose.

You have this one life. This one life has many choices. Choose wisely.