I would like to tell you...

I'm fairly new to the blog world. Or at least - the more public blog world. I've been blogging for years but strictly for family, never intending for it to be anything more. Until recently. At the urging of a friend, I have jumped in! My friend told me I should pursue my writing and please post my outfits so she can get ideas. Um, okay.

So, here we are.

I would like to tell you that I know what I'm doing. But I don't. I'm just taking a stab at this every day or as many days as I can.

I would like to tell you that I'm recently unemployed and am embarking on a new journey of full-time, in the home work, mothering three incredible blessings, being wife to my amazing husband, and attempting to keep it all together.

I would like to tell you that I am keeping it all together. But for the past two weeks, I have not. Not even close.

I would like to tell you that if you walk into my home right now you might think I belong on an episode of Hoarders. Since my job ended, I have been cleaning and rearranging like a mad woman. Seriously. I have given away (through Freecycle.org) at least 6 trash bags full of stuff I don't need, and right now there is more sitting on my porch waiting for pickup. Wonder Woman has moved into what used to be our office, Superman has moved into Wonder Woman's old room, and now all the kids have their own bedroom. (Superman and the Homerun Kid used to share a room.)

Looks like he is sleeping pretty well to me. He must have had a hard night of saving the world.

I would like to tell you that if it were up to me and I could knock down a bunch of walls in my house, all the kids would sleep in one, big, bunk room. Truthfully, they'd all rather be in the same room anyway. Then they could each have a sectioned off portion of the room and we could hang cute curtains in between when privacy was necessary. Like this...

Image courtesy of Coastal Living 

Or this...

Image courtesy of House of Turquoise

I would like to tell you that we are about to return to homeschooling after a two-year break. We homeschooled for two years, then the kids went to private school, and now we are returning to homeschool. And I'm excited and terrified all at the same time. So that's why I've been moving furniture, bedrooms, painting over pink walls, purging all sorts of trash and trinkets, and generally staying busy. And preparing our home to be a functional homeschool.

I would like to tell you that I'm thrilled to be blessed to try homeschooling once more because of this...when I look back on our two years of homeschool before, I realize that I spent much of that time worrying and complaining; full of anxiety and frustration. I had prayed for so long to be able to stay home and homeschool. And once that prayer was answered, I sat there and complained about my blessing. Not intentionally...but almost without thinking about it. It was hard. It was frustrating. I loved it. And I didn't love it. And after two years of listening to me whine about it, I feel like God removed me from it to show me and teach me - lovingly - what I had done. I had prayed and asked. He answered. I complained. He removed me from it. Almost as if to say, "well, this is what you said you wanted and since you're complaining, we'll just throw it out." Kind of like my kids complaining this morning about me only buying them ONE donut instead of three per kid. Well, I'll just take that one donut back, thank you very much.

I would like to tell you that in the last two weeks I have cried, I have yelled, I have been depressed about this transition...because it hurts...and because it's CHANGE.

I would like to tell you that I have also rejoiced and thanked and been thrilled and scared about the new season we are entering.

I would like to tell you that I'm completely prepared for what lies ahead, but I'm not. But I know that if God has brought us to this opportunity - again - then He will prepare us for all that lies ahead.
And I rest in His provision, His protection, His preparation (of me), and His plan. "I trust in His unfailing love. My heart rejoices in His salvation!" Psalm 13:5